| my luck is a lost key |
[03 May 2009|09:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Metric: Waves |
] |
I woke up this morning really scared to get on the scale since i havn't worked out at all this week...
I am no longer going to get weighed in and am doing it at home since I am starting to work at the gym next week. i was able to compare the scales and they were the same last week so i know it's not just a funky scale giving me a different weight...
I lost 4 pounds this week. i know one pound is probably because I weighed myself naked and I am used to wearing clothes. but still i am in shock... i think my metabolism is starting to be my friend. the last month my weigh in's have been pretty huge. and what's more hilarious is i am still eating significantly. so i bring my total now to 35.2 pounds gone... i am getting closer to 50 which is awesome. i wanted to lose 50 before i went back to school. it could still happen if i keep this going... 15 pounds in 3 months is doable. i am quite proud of myself.
i start my new job next sunday on mothers day. my mom is being all retarded about it. i told her we could celebrate it on saturday or go out to dinner instead of breakfast sunday.
also in other news. my car is dying. i am really sad. the black widow has been in my life for almost 8 years. she was overheating a lil bit when i went to run errands. i am trying to use it sparingly and only for short trips. this is where i am quite happy that i take the train to work. i am going to probably get my mother's old car to loan until i can get a down payment for my own. the guy who is fixing her car up is a big flake tho. hopefully he hurries up and fixes it because i really dont know how much longer my car is going to last. i had a dream it died and i am terrified it was a premonition that soon will come true.
|
|
| this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S |
[28 Apr 2009|08:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gwen Stefani: Hollaback Girl |
] |
i am still annoyed with boys and relationships for that matter. i still am a hopeless romantic, but i always get fucked. :(
i am more annoyed with my car. actually more sad. it is dying. i asked the mechanic how much longer she had, and he replied with some joke about an 80 year old man and how you never know. the things it needs fixed are more then the car is worth.
my mom is fixing up her old car so i am probably going to take it as a loaner til i can afford to buy my new one sometime next year. its an SVU which kinda sucks because its bigger then I am used to and gas hog. but a car is better then no car...
i thought i was infected with the swine flu! but it turns out i am fine. i had some flu symptoms but sleeping all morning seemed to have cured it. it was nice to stay home from work. it is really tense there lately... all i can say is this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S....
i wish it were august already... also. i have lost 31 pounds... and feeling pretty awesome. i am fitting back into my old clothes and whats even better is most of them are too loose haha.
|
|
| No one can get in the way of what I feel for you |
[26 Apr 2009|06:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mya feat Jadakiss: Best Of Me |
] |
i applied for a job at the gym i go to. i got the job! going to start next week working the front desk. best part is the discount i get on training now. i am starting a lot earlier then anticipated, they needed someone now. and its good to already have it secure for august when i quit the other job. i may go crazy tho... workin 7 days a week argh... i cant wait for new york in august.. haha.
this just in. boys smell. the end. i wish i could just turn off my feelings. it would be so much easier. i just dont understand him sometimes. i am getting so frustrated... and mostly because i know i am not being unreasonable.
must try to not think about him. and must not give into calling him. i won't...
i can't let you get the best of me... sing it mya.
must distract myself...
|
|
| finally, it is mine |
[04 Apr 2009|06:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Brobecks: Bike Ride |
] |
This guy rules... I finally got my Mac Laptop... It is amazing and I am still in the process of transferring everything over... it is so pretty...
|
|
| you're still on my lonely mind |
[22 Mar 2009|08:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
3 Doors Down - Here Without You |
] |
boys are stinky and i don't understand what the hell goes through their brains
I hate three doors down but I love this song.. and it makes me sad
p.s. i love you man is friggin hilarious. barf scene not for the faint of heart
|
|
| And why do we like to hurt so much? |
[08 Jan 2009|07:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Paramore - That's What You Get |
] |
No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I really like this song. Why does it have to fit so much right now. Argh...
I woke up really late today, a half an hour late. Woops.
Last night the house behind us caught on fire. Luckily no one was hurt and it didn't spread. The little old lady lives by herself there and fell asleep with the space heater on. She woke up later to a room in flames. It was pretty nuts to see...
My stomache was hurting really bad the last two days so I didn't go to the gym last night. I fell asleep pretty early actually. It's so easy to do when my grandparents have the heat blasting and im under my new super warm down comforter. I need to go to the gym tonight, hopefullly I feel better.
I had a strange dream my mom got married last night hahah. It was weird... the dj was playing some really lame songs. I also dreamt about Zack from Saved by the Bell. I used to have the biggest crush on him hahah. Dreams are so silly.
I am excited for the troub show. should be some fun. I think i am dying my hair red for that show. I am bored of this blonde doo. Not sure if I am going to do it myself or go get it done. It's much more fun when people are straightening my hair and I don't have to do it! I have this crazy skirt picked out for the show haha. I havn't worn it out yet. It's in a week which is nice. Anyhow that's all I have to say right now and that boys are confusing and drive me crazy. end.
|
|
| I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck |
[04 Jan 2009|09:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 productive |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Panic! At The Disco - Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off |
] |
My mood has improve slightly so that's good. I lost another pound this week which is quite exceptional since i ate like ass for three days but i did go to the gym four times. Hopefully this week goes much better. I did indulge in some mochi ice cream. Most times I get a box and eat the entire thing. This time I managed to just eat two pieces so that's good. Food addiction is a really insane thing. Alcoholics don't have to drink alcohol to surive. Imagine if they had to have just a little bit each day. Food addicts have to eat food to live and it makes it so much harder.
I really like this song. I downloaded some new music and put it on my Ipod when I went to the gym. The beginning is so sexy. I was like oooh what am I listening too...
So it's 2009 now so what lies ahead for me.
Well I hope to lose 50 pounds before I start school in August. 1 down today, 49 to go. I am excited to start school in August. I just am a little worried on how I am going to be able to pay for it and whether or not I am going to need a job on the side while I am in school. Probably will have to since I am planning buying a new car in April (boo car payment and full coverage insurance). I also am planning a trip to New York in August before I head back to school. I am looking forward to it. It's been a while since I took a trip and i miss my new yorkers whom I havn't seen in so long.
Also I am proud of myself because I cancelled my World of Warcraft account today. This is a game I became severely addicted to when I was in my deep depression. It was my escape so I didn't have to think about the pain I was in. Anyhow I am really happy that I cancelled it. I really havn't played much in the last 3 months but I could never bring myself to cancel it. So that is a major thing for me and I am proud. There's just not much point to it. I can spend my time doing more constructive things and I save myself 15 bucks a month.
I meet with my trainer again tommorow. I just know I am going to be sore. She wants to increase the weights on everything I am doing. I feel like theyre still heavy at times but she knows best. Oiiiiii.
I am going to try to see if I can make it to the gym more then 4 times this week. I really don't have much else to do so I figure it shouldn't be that hard to accomplish. It's just coldddddddd, cold for california at least. brrrr. oh and there is a rapist on the loose in Pasadena. I am smart enough to avoid this one, he gets people by asking them if they need a ride then takes them secluded areas to assault them. apparently their mommies an daddies didn't teach them not to take rides with strangers... i am happy the rose parade crap is over. it was annoying and there were so many people in my neighborhood going to see the floats.
boo back to work tommorow. save me...
|
|
| This is how you remind me of what I really am |
[02 Jan 2009|01:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nickelback - This Is How You Remind Me |
] |
I hate Nickelback but I had to download this song. I had gone out to eat alone the other night and it came on and i had been feeling down lately. I had to listen to it so I downloaded it.
It's not like you, to say sorry
I was waitin' on a different story
This time I was mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head scream
Are we having fun yet?
So it's 2009. So far I have done nothing of importance. I spent all New Years Day in bed watching tv from the early morning til way late. I had no energy to do anything. I have just been feeling down lately. I need to get my ass to the gym especially since I ate like crap the last two days. I was doing so good. I let my mood get the better of me.
I just took a hot shower so that helped make me feel better. Haven't decided when I am going to the gym tonight. I need to go or else Monday will be hell. Morgan will kick my ass. I started personal training at the gym and it has been going really well. I don't want to disappoint her, and more importantly myself. It just is so hard sometimes. When I am in a sad mood i much rather eat a big bowl of ice cream then munch on carrots.
New Years was alright. I stayed home with family since my favorite cousins were coming over. I surprised them and bought them Rock Band 2 as a late Christmas present. We played for a bit and had fun. I always get stuck singing. I suck in reality, but I am good and doing the right tone haha so I do good in the game. I just can't really carry a tune. But that's never stopped me in the shower or in my car. I just wish I had a decent voice.
I miss writing poetry. It's been so long. Every time I want to try it just feels like its all crap. It's disappointing. I miss having that outlet. I remember when I would just get into these moods and write for hours.
I like this song by Paramore called That's What You Get. I had to sing it on Rockband 2. It's really catchy. I really like this line...
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I hope you all had a good New Years. I am enjoying this time off from work. I wish I were spending it doing things that were more important. Instead all I've been doing is watching Without a Trace, Law & Order, and Cold Case. Nip / Tuck starts this week, wooo. I still can't believe I got to walk on their set last year that was so fun.
I hope I get out of this mood. It's no fun being sad, epecially when it's cuz of a mean boy.
|
|
| christmas granny representing MAW |
[21 Dec 2008|05:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Monster are Waiting - Perfect Stranger |
] |
That's right.
hehe my grandma stole this shirt from me and was representing!
|
|
| !!!!!!1 |
[12 Dec 2008|09:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fugees - Killing Me Softly |
] |
sanger had a baby. holy crap. i miss sanger. and his blonde head. i just miss him. lance isnt the same
i got a facial today. it was nice. i am all glowy. work xmas party tomorrow. open bar and they even paid for a cab to get me to and from. score.
i kinda like a boy. he likes me. we will see what happens with it.
i want to go see snoop dogg on new years eve. maybe said boy will take me.
|
|
| HWP online store |
[12 Oct 2008|10:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
HWP - Dog |
] |
In case ya didn't get a shirt :) and want one and some stickers... go buy someeeeee. we still have some left over from the show.
|
|
| it's endless |
[20 Aug 2008|05:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
maw - it's endless |
] |
Anna is going to be playing this show even with her big ol belly. This should be fun. It was fun to make a flyer since it's been a while.
Also redid the Monsters Are Waiting Store... Go Buy stuff. Even tho they have not much since they are poor. Their new EP is on there tho.
http://www.monstersarewaiting.com/store
|
|
| But I'm choosing to leave with your heart on my sleeve |
[20 Jul 2008|05:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Charlotte Sometimes - How I Could Just Kill A Man |
] |
I am obsessed with this song. I am doing well. I havn't posted here in a while. Finally starting to get my life finally put back together. I feel like I was in a coma for so long. I have been doing weight watchers to lose some of this extra weight. I've lost 18 pounds so far in just a few months. I have a bit more to lose but am feeling very determined. I am tired of being chubby.
Saw the Dark Knight last night. It was fantastic. The Joker makes that movie, Heath did an amazing job. I still can't get the image of him in the nurse outfit out of my head. I kept picturing Christian Bale from the American Psycho movie and it kinda freaked me out.
I've been talking with this guy who is studying to get his PHD at Purdue. He is really nice and fun to talk to. I wish i had that dedication. I still need to go back and finish my BA. Soon I hope. I just need to get my credit card debt's under control and my brain back in either graphic design mode or find a different major.
Go get your ribbon box
Go get your wounded heart
Seeing spiders
I'm told they never lie
Go get your brother love
Go get your losing head
Seeing fire
I'm told it never burns
I want it all
I pull you back
I want it all
Cry baby cry baby cry
Soaking down your
Cry baby cry baby
And you can't understand
How I could just kill a man
No to your letters love
No to unsturdy hands
Sleeping eyes
I'm told they never lie
No to your key of rust
No to raging words
Sleeping tires
I'm told they never drive
I want it all
I pull you back
I want it all
Cry baby cry baby cry
Soaking down your
cry baby cry baby
You can't understand how
I could just kill a man
And if I wanted to stay
You won't stand in my way
But I'm choosing to leave
With your heart on my sleeve
It feels too good without you
|
|
| Save me from myself, take me from this hell |
[15 Jul 2008|06:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Alkaine Trio - Help Me |
] |
Help Me
Here you’ll find me in between heaven and hell my dear
Where nothing’s what it seems, it’s just as well I fear
I’m giving you the creeps and a farewell kiss to go into the unknown
Saw you standing there outside the music hall
You’d come out for some air, uncertain curtain call
And everyone just stared when you took the stage that night
Something’s not right
You’re up there, took the stairs to the stars all alone
You left all the lights burning but nobody’s home
I believe they deceived your tuneful heart too long
Now they sing along
Help me, help me won’t you?
Sing me, sing me one last song
Help me, help me, somebody help me
Save me from myself, take me from this hell
Here I’ll find you in between heaven and hell again
Where nothing’s what it seems, it’s just as well my friend
I’m giving me the creeps and a farewell to arms and legs and heads and all
I am so in love with song... I can't stop listening to it. I wish I could go see them but the shows at HOB is sold out, plus I will be in Palm Springs with my family.
|
|
| sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together |
[09 Jun 2008|04:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
theSTART - Blood On My Hands |
] |
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they are right, you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
cheerful
crappy
touched
